Funny Love Poems

The following funny love poem is based on a true story.

I Would Drown For You

Some might utter the well-worn words
“I would die for you”
But a phrase so oft repeated I might replace with
“I would drown for you”

Perhaps because my story is specific
Involving a close encounter with death
One I won’t soon forget
While snorkeling in the Andaman Sea

A devoted wife who loved me dear
Urged and begged me to overcome my fear
Pleaded with me to learn how to swim
So she wouldn’t have to save me one day

So courageously I leaped from the seafaring vessel
With goggles and snorkel, with fins and my life jacket
I stayed close to the edge of the boat at first
Barely containing my fluids inside

Taking her hand I ventured further out
Soon I saw I would not sink
Nor would I be eaten by man-eating sharks
I even saw Nemo comforting me

Soon I knew I would have to go it alone
My precious life jacket I would need to relinquish
And venture to see if I could float on my own
Without sinking like an anvil to the sea bottom

Miraculously with the tiniest effort
I float like a fat person filled with air
Soon I venture far away from the boat
Almost reaching ten whole feet

With time and practice my distance increases
Soon I can handle a few minutes alone
Before rushing back to the boat’s side
And catching my breath before fear sets in

Soon I decide to swim really far
Pushing my edge one hundred feet out
Accompanied of course by my life guarding friend
Because while I’m courageous, I’m sure not stupid

I float easily in the ocean so calm
Three minutes relaxed as a hippie so stoned
Until the moment I turn to go back
The boat an infinity away it seems to me

Fear creeps up from deep in my gut
Slowly overtaking my body
Attempts I make to stuff it back down
But sheer panic the upper edge owns today

I flail my arms like a drowning donkey
I forget all that I know about swimming
And do everything I know I shouldn’t do
Grabbing onto my friend who bats me away

Just as I’m about to sink to the bottom
My friend grabs me and pulls me back in
Safe in the boat I realize I can say
To my honey, “I would drown for you today”

Tagged as: funny love poem, funny love poems for her