The Throbbing Heart

Walking through my life
No matter where I turn
The dull feeling in my chest
Beats the throbbing heart

At times my one desire
Is nothing at all to feel
A flatline would be welcome
Instead of slowly bleeding

Perhaps a blessed curse
Or my greatest blessing
For sure my greatest gift
Is the throbbing heart

A near suicidal woman
Asks me to intervene
A girl who was abused
Shares her life with me

A man whose health is failing
A worried mother’s love
My heart so keenly feels
Its flesh bursting with their pain

The burdens of these souls
Their wounds so deeply cut
Are healed by the love
From the throbbing heart

Washed away their pains
And bandaged up their spirits
The overflowing bleeding heart
Allows the wholeness to return

Not caring for wrong or right
Free of labeled judgement
With the scepter of acceptance
The heart throbbing consumes with love

The body small but willing
Overwhelmed at times doth feel
Attempts to house the heart
Running at max capacity

Always ever present
Whether morning or the eve
The pounding dull sensation
Beats from my throbbing heart

Around me the headless chickens
Dash and dart in broken circles
Colliding and tripping over each other
While the hurricane circles overhead

The endless movies of action and killing
The mindless crazy bird game
The chatter of Facebook and Twitter
Numb the collective mind

The sirens blaring, the disco lights flashing
The neon signs of instant pleasure beam
Y2K, 9/11, 2012
And threats of anthrax and bird flu rage

Preemptive war and threats of nuclear holocaust
The stress of busyness of making ends meet
And keeping up with the Joneses
Consume the bandwidth of attention

In the midst of the hurricane raging
In the eye of the storm, still as can be
The commotion around me
Cannot knock me off my center

When the truth I know, when divinity I feel
When the voice of the spirit I heed
As I know myself, the world I know
And shiny bright lights I cannot chase

As the latest fad comes and goes
As the hurricane swirls around me
I know who I am and what I am to do
I know my course I’ve been called to

I walk down the path step by step
Calm as a midsummer’s night
Centered in the quiet stillness of the soul
Connected with a deeper power

While the gong show continues around me
Fueled by those still searching without
For something they cannot possibly find
Until within they turn their attention

Right is when the choice intends to serve others
Wrong is when the choice is selfish
Satiating the ego at the expense of others
So why does humanity choose wrong at times?

The natural state of human beings
Is to love and serve their fellow men
Indeed their whole purpose is to love
Being the ends of their creation

A wrong choice occurs when man
Has a selfish need to fill
Which comes when he lacks self-love or self-worth within
When he feels not good enough or not loved

And when he does not feel it within
He feels the need to gather evidence from without
To prove and justify his worth and self-love
Seeking for love and worth where it cannot possibly be found

A wrong choice is nothing more than a lack of self-love within
Which instigates an action directed towards the self
As a measure to gather evidence of one’s worth or love
Hence, a wrong or selfish action has occurred at the expense of others

For when men are focused on the self
They cannot be focused on others
Their vision is clouded by the worth and love they cannot feel
Starving to spiritual death seeking for nourishment in their wrong acts

In these wrong actions, men voluntarily
Cede their God-given power
To an outside source which love and worth
Men seek from this source

Because love and worth they cannot find within
Men think love and worth can be found from without
Thus handing over their own love and worth
To a source outside of themselves

Thus leaves their power too
As the outside source now controls them
Being master of the love and worth they seek
As men diligently from this source seek to gain their love and worth

Whether it be approval from another
Or money, fame, wealth or power
A position of authority, praise, recognition, addiction
Pornography, drugs, depression or anger

Whether it be stress or busyness
Love, validation or jealousy
Each of these is an outside source
From which men seek love and worth

Because men seek for love and worth
Where it cannot possibly be found
From without, instead of within,
The inevitable outcome is still no worth and no love

Hence, the selfish actions increase and increase
With inner love or worth never attained
The selfish actions perpetuate
Unfulfilled, never satiated and always consuming

When this happens, a natural reaction occurs
Of blame pointing out to the outside source
Which blame names this outside source
As the cause of the lack of self-worth or self-love

A wrong or selfish act cannot be undertaken
Without this accompanying blame, without the appendage of lie
Which places the power of men’s self-worth and love
Into the hands of an outside source

To stop the wrong act
One must stop the lie, the accompanying blame
The abdication of responsibility
And claim ownership of one’s power of choice

I have those voices in my head just like anyone else out there.  I have learned how to manage those voices and how to turn them in my favor.  I have written this inspirational poem about these voices.

These hidden dreams I feel within
Urging me to create and accomplish
Much more than I believe myself to be
Until I hear the other contrarian voice

You can’t do it! My mind shouts out
Ringing and reverberating through my mind
Bouncing and rebounding off my skull
Who are you to attempt such a feat?

My soul responds with a valiant ‘yes, you can!’
My soul takes courage and leaps into action
What will they think, a voice whispers to me?
How will they respond to my actions?

What about security, my stomach reacts
An anchor lands with a thud in my gut
I can’t handle failing, whimpers my heart
For then I’ll be worthless with no value to give

I didn’t ask for these voices
I never sought after their advice
And yet, my actions they seem to control
Their advice I heed with nary a choice

I reason to myself that I should just take action
Which I manage to do for at least a few days
Until times get hard and a few failures I make
Returning to the confines of inaction

These unquestioned demons, these devious voices
I beg them to please cease and desist
But they just won’t leave me alone
Until a magnifying glass I acquire

With the glass and the radiant sun
I focus on the unquestioned voices
Examining them underneath a microscope
Giving them the stage until they are heard

What I find are the unresolved fears
The unfinished communications of a child
Who wasn’t seen or heard ages ago
Who lived with the fears of the past

The unquestioned voices slowly fade away
Losing their grip on my soul
Giving way to the powerful man inside
To grow and shine forth to the awaiting world

I can say I love you all I want
I can write short love poems all day long
Until I back my words through action
Your trust I cannot hope to acquire

My own internal commitment
Of my life, my purpose, my soul
Exclusive of external input
Has regained your trust and surrender

These inspiring quotes are my random rantings from time to time as I seek to counsel others and most importantly, myself.

-The road to success is paved with the bricks of failure.

-Show me a man who has never failed, and I’ll show you a man who has never tried.

-A wise man asks WHY.  A foolish man never asks anything at all.

-Question everything, especially that which you hold tightest and have the strongest opinion about.

-You can hold on to being right or you can let go and be happy.  Unfortunately, these two are mutually exclusive.

-Love which endures is love which is steady, crafted through time like a slow-burning fire fueled by red-glowing embers.

-To convert someone, don’t tell them how they are wrong.  Seek to understand why they think the way they do.

-The greatest ache in the world is to be understood.  The clearest path to being understood is to understand.

-The quickest path to success is always through GIVING, not through getting.

-Save the world, love yourself first.

-Martyrs are foolish.  They believe their only redeeming quality is to sacrifice themselves on the altar of victimhood.

-What is the greatest distraction?  TV, you say?  Addiction?  Why, not at all.  The greatest distraction is busyness.

-Show me a man who has no time, and I’ll show you a man who is chasing after something he cannot possibly get.

-Show me a man who has no time for a wife, and I’ll show you a coward who won’t dare to open his heart.

-The greatest evil from which none shall escape is the seeking of money as priority number one.

-The love found in Hollywood is nothing more than romantic infatuation based on unfulfilled family dynamics.

-If you want to solve the problems in the world, the only way is to root out the problems within yourself.

-Do that which makes you come alive.  The money will come.

-Many a missionary with a noble cause is trying to save the world.  STOP IT!!!!!  Just do that which makes you come alive instead.

-Before you do anything, place yourself in the shoes of those on the receiving end of your actions.

-Life is what happens when you are busy trying to please people who cannot be pleased, trying to prove what needs no proof and trying to gain what you already have.

He’s beloved by many, yet he’s alone
With thousands following him
Hoping to follow his guidance
With scarcely a moment to himself

But they don’t know the service required
They don’t see the path he’s ventured
Behind the scenes they fail to see
Unaware of the struggle he’s overcome

For this position he never applied
A leader he never set out to be
The responsibility he never desired
For fame and glory he never sought

Not by design, but by duty
Where much is given, much is required
He blazed a trail where no one had traveled
Unaware of the wake behind him

He only wanted more light and knowledge
Which purpose was to end his own suffering
With courage and strength he pressed onward
And journeyed where few men would go

Into his deepest hell to be whole
But all they see is the man on the stage
Not knowing how to get what he got
And not willing if they knew where he’d been

Hence, his aloneness surrounded by thousands
His purpose focused solely on them
How they love him, but relate they cannot
Until they follow him down that road

He pleads as he gives his heart to them
Hoping for comrades, never adorers
Desiring partners in knowledge, not lemmings with veils
Sharing the wisdom they wish not to see

Descended below them, they know not where he’s been
They don’t see the servant leader he is
He sees the vision that they do not
Of the powerful beings they already are

Oh, the secrets he wishes to share with them!
But he must wait, so they do not drown
Funny how often reviled he is
Under their microscope broken

He tells them what they do not want to hear
They only follow until it hurts too much
Then they condemn and criticize him
Because they won’t go where he’s gone

Few are willing to make the sacrifice
Few are willing to do the work
Few will leave their hearts so vulnerable
Only a few will make the journey

He begs them to venture the path rarely traveled
The path of leadership few will attain
Because they can’t fathom the journey
Unprepared and unaware of the stewardship

They want the glory, not the hardship
They want the accolades, not the dirt or the mud
They want the reward, but won’t master the path
They want the fame, but not the behind-the-scenes struggle

They don’t understand it’s not about power
Although power leaders certainly wield
They don’t understand it’s not about being seen
Although leaders shine forth like a beacon

They don’t understand it’s not about getting
Although much leaders plainly receive
They don’t understand it’s not about money
Although abundance leaders clearly enjoy

They don’t understand it’s not about being loved
They don’t see leaders are constantly loving
They don’t understand it’s not about the reward
They don’t see leaders are constantly giving

It’s because they haven’t mastered
The inner journey of the heart
They don’t come from the pure power of love
That takes a lifetime to master

But leaders are kind, aware of our plight
Because they were once a disaster
Yet, have since their sovereignty gained
They know the path of freedom attained

Those leaders few, willing to master
Their lives a guide and inspiration to others
Gently give us our own keys to freedom
Although few will fully accept it

I would break out of my box for you
I would let go of my fear for you
I would learn how to swim for you
I would learn how to cook for you

I would keep the house clean for you
I would take care of the family for you
I would live my dreams for you
I would help you see your own beauty

I would be the best father for you
I would share my heart with you
I would be strong yet gentle for you
I would be the man you deserve

I know of many people who can’t seem to find the right words or really express how they feel.  And no words can ever fully express the depth of human emotion, yet we still try our best with language.

I’ve had many friends tell me I have a gift of communicating emotion and feelings.  It’s just something that I do.  I love to write, express and communicate in a way that others really get the FEELING of what is coming across.

If you have anything you would like to express, but don’t know how, please contact me and tell me about it.  I will come up with the words.  I will write something for you or to whomever you would like to express these words.

For more details, see YOUR OWN POEM

My wife is my greatest inspiration and it is for her that I dedicate this short love poem.

My Devoted Wife

You have followed me round the world
Anything you would do to make me happy
When I am mad, your heart hurts
And you turn into a sad little puppy dog

When I hurt, you feel my hurt
When I worry, your body feels it too
You love the direction I provide
You are my devoted wife

A better wife man could not ask for
A wife who accepts nothing less than integrity
And always asks me to be my best
Who never places her selfish needs before me

She inspires me to be the best man I can be
Because she deserves nothing less than that
I accomplished and became all that I am
Because she is my devoted wife by my side